


Million Papercuts

by Kimmy



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Fic Written In Order To Feel Better About My Own Shit, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Healthy Relationships, How Do I Tag, Love, M/M, Malec Is Awesome, Short & Sweet, Surprisingly It Worked, Sweet, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-10-26 12:15:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10786572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kimmy/pseuds/Kimmy
Summary: In a unusual feat of bravery, Alec goes to a club. He doesn't regret it when it leads to him meeting a wonderful mundane called Magnus. The only problem? Magnus thinks Alec is also a mundane.





	Million Papercuts

 

“Why so tense, Alexander?”

 

He feels Alec smile against his neck but his body doesn’t relax.

 

“Just the usual. This isn’t something that I can escape or fix. And it’s so easy for people to just tell me to keep posture, stay calm and ignore it but… it’s not easy to not to care. And someday, it will eventually be over… but not for months still. And I cannot escape, cannot give in. I just have to endure. And it’s better. A bit,  _ a lot _ better, since I have you to help me through it and keep me grounded, it’s not going away. I’ve just learnt to live with it for now.”

 

“Is it harder at night?”

 

“Yeah…” Alec sighs. “I just… You can feel it, of course. I should relax, by all logic, and go to sleep, to rest and regenerate, but instead my mind goes into overdrive. Reading, cuddling, it all helps a bit and once I fall asleep morning will come and make it better but for now, everything’s just a bit harder and I just want to not have to deal with it.”

 

“But you have to.”

 

“But I have to.”

 

***

 

The crowd was loud and anonymous and terrifying. The bodies were sweaty and laughing and pushing at him from all sides. At once, Alec felt both peace and fear, unsure what to do and yet sure he wanted to be there.

 

People often thought he was antisocial or brooding, that he didn’t like people.

 

But Alec  _ wanted _ people. He yearned for people, contact, friends. It was just hard. He enjoyed the idea of just letting loose and dancing and drinking and forgetting the world but he wasn’t sure how to do it. He just stood there, looking at those people, and thinking how much easier it would be if he just had someone to dance  _ with _ because it was the fact he was alone that was making it awkward.

 

And then, 3 mojitos later, there was a hand on his shoulder and a breath in his ear.

 

“Wanna dance?”

 

And Alec did.

 

***

 

“How are you this beautiful morning?”

 

“Already tired and wishing I didn’t have to leave.”

 

Magnus gives him a peck on the lips and a plate with sandwiches, sitting opposite him.

 

“You will manage. Then it will be over before you notice and you will leave. You will be probably be tense as hell so I will give you a massage and Chairman will cuddle you, and then, we will watch a movie, or I could read to you. And tomorrow we will do this again until 3 weeks pass and we both have leave and we can go on those holidays to Barcelona I promised you.”

 

Alec smiles.

 

“I don’t have a passport.”

 

“Leave it to me.” The wink he gets in return makes life a bit better.

 

***

 

On their first date, they went to a dirty corner shop selling takeaway chinese, because Alec hadn’t had good chinese in ages and desperately wanted Magnus to show him some. They walked around the park in the dark, eating noodles and laughing as Magnus told Alec stories about his crazy adventures.

 

They made out in the grass, Alec ending with more glitter on himself than Isabelle when she was dating that shady seelie one time, and they stargazed, because they were cliche like that.

 

It progressed slowly, but surely, and it grew into a healthy, strong relationship.

 

They both knew and accepted the fact communication was the key, even if it was sometimes hard. They talked and they were aware that they both had their secrets, that Alec was very much in the closet, that there were demons haunting them that not even a movie-like love story would banish.

 

They made it work, until Alec spent more time at Magnus’ than anywhere else, even if he hadn’t officially moved in.

 

***

 

“...lobster”

 

“Please just stop.”

 

Alec is looking horribly embarrassed and slightly in pain but mostly just done with the world, but he can’t help but smile and Magnus can’t help but find him adorable, even sunburnt. 

 

By the next day, Alec is magically, completely fine and they stick to shadows, only gracing the beach once the sun begins to set, enjoying the dying warmth of the day and the lukewarm water without the crowds.

 

“Thank you.”

 

“What for?”

 

Magnus looks genuinely surprised and confused, but his eyes are so earnest and honest and full of love Alec can’t help but lean in to kiss him before continuing.

 

“For being here. For this relationship. For staying with me even when none of us has any strength to get out of bed.”

 

“I’ll be here until the day we finally decide to just give up on the world and actually stay in that bed, my Alexander. And then I’ll be there forever, or as long as you’ll want me.”

 

Alec laughs.

 

“Forever.”

 

***

 

There were days when it was so easy to forget the world outside.

 

There were days when one of them came home silent and they just clung to each other, trying and failing to forget the world outside.

 

They made it through so much, with texts and hugs and some fantastic sex… 

 

They talked or were silent together, they supported each other in whatever problem arose next, without cliche words that were simple to say but impossible to make happen, without false hope, with just their shared strength.

 

They were always there for each other, in everything that mattered.

 

There was so much they didn’t know about each other, and yet they knew what mattered - their food preferences, the way their bodies fit together when spooning and the values that they held.

 

They were different and yet the core the same, and they were one.

 

There was a lot that the world threw at them, impossible to ward against, a million paper cuts. And though there was nothing that they could do to heal themselves, they were a soothing balm for each other.

 

***

 

“...So, something happened. Something amazing.”

 

“Why, Alexander, this is great news. It so happens I have had great news today too.”

 

They kiss and change and settle on the sofa, sprawled together, legs tangled and stupid grins on their faces.

 

“So… Wanna talk about it?”

 

“You mean…?”

 

“I think so.”

 

“Yeah, you’re right, I think it’s time.”

 

***

 

It was sudden, the best kind of unexpected.

 

It all happened so fast, and it was like one day Alec just realised everything changed. Isabelle and Lydia were the Inquisitor and Consul respectively, Jace and Clary were leading the Institute as Alec declined the position, Simon and Raphael were able to walk in the daylight and enter the Institute, which exposed Alec to watching them be disgustingly sappy more often and Max moved in.

 

It was all a process, slow and painful but in the end, it was worth it and it was successful and it was over.

 

Suddenly, Alec realised, the tension left his body, suddenly, things were really changing.

 

For once, Alec felt like he could take over the world, like the papercuts were not just numbed, but healed.

 

And it was time.

 

***

 

“It’s… cheesy. I know it is. But, as much as we talked about it, as much as we promised to never let it come between us, I feel like things may change.”

 

“They probably will.”

 

“They probably will.”

 

Magnus agrees, sliding closer to Alec and looking him deep in the eyes.

 

“And I just wanted to say, should things go wrong, or change for the worse, should this end up making things weird between us… Those past months were the best months of my life, and as much as you may not understand this yet, this means so much more coming from me than anyone you ever met before, Alec. I’ve been through a lot, I’ve seen a lot, I’ve experienced a lot, but honestly… I don’t think I’ve ever had a chance at something so honest and pure before. And I love you, my Alexander. I love you so much, and I want you to know that I will forever be grateful for what we had, what we have, what I believe we will be able to still have.”

 

Alec kisses him, slow and chaste and  _ loving _ and he knows that this moment is the most important moment in their relationship.

 

“I just want to say that I may be inexperienced but I know what I feel and I know that you are the most important person in my life and the best thing that ever happened to me. And I love you, Magnus. And even if it will probably seem difficult or impossible, even if it will be the biggest challenge, I want us to try and remember that, whatever happens now.”

 

And they kiss again, long and deep and with desperation, and they pull away reluctantly, but with certainty, sitting opposite each other on their knees instead.

 

“It’ll be easier to show you, I guess.”

 

“I… I guess so. I think, yeah, for me too.”

 

They breath in, and Magnus sees Alec fumbling with something in his pocket, but doesn’t comment.

 

“Close our eyes and count to ten?”

 

Alec nods.

 

***

 

They met in a club.

 

They had their first date in the park at night.

 

They were attached at the hip ever since they started dating.

 

They would be able to take whatever life threw at them.

 

***

 

“Oh.”

 

“Yeah, oh.”

 

They are both shirtless.

 

Magnus is staring at Alec’s chest and Alec is staring in Magnus’ eyes and it’s fairly normal if it wasn’t for the fact that Magnus is staring at Alec’s chest being  _ covered in runes _ and Alec is staring into Magnus’ eyes all  _  golden and cat like _ .

 

“Well, honestly, this was not what I expected.” Alec breathes out and lets out a quiet nervous laugh that turns into relief. “I feared something bad.”

 

Magnus chuckles weakly too, shaking his head as if finding it hard to believe. 

 

“Yeah. Frankly, this actually makes things so much easier.”

 

Alec just humms and laughs and grabs Magnus suddenly, lifting him bridal style and making him squeal unmanly in surprise, and carries him to the bedroom despite the (weak) protests.

 

“Shush now.”

 

He says sternly, throwing him on the bed and causing a burst of giggles.

  
“Now we’re going to snuggle and sleep and rejoice that nothing is changing, or if it is then only for the better. And tomorrow, we will talk, and then stay in bed as long as we want to, and then stay together, forever.”

**Author's Note:**

> And since Power CoupleTM Izzy/Lydia made marriage equality legal and Magnus, being half Fallen Angel, can bear symbolic runes without actual power like “love” or “mourning” ...or “wedded union”, Malec has a beautiful wedding and Alec trips over his own feet during the first dance. This is why he has bruised hips, Jace, this is exactly the reason.


End file.
